Homophobes...for Jesus?!

It’s been a big year in our country for laws concerning homosexuality, whether one connotes good or bad things with that “big.” On June 25, New York became the sixth state in the U.S. to legalize same-sex marriage. New York is the most populous state to have done so so far, and as the third most populous state in the country, I think it speaks volumes about where our country is right now and where it will be in the not so distant future. Then on September 20, former President Clinton’s Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy was repealed after almost 18 years as a law, effectively ending the ban on homosexuals to serve in the military.

As Christians, where do we fit in the midst of all this? How should we respond when we are forced to confront this reality that is becoming more and more accepted in our culture and not something we can really turn a blind eye to anymore?

Legality vs. Morality

A distinction must be made from the get-go. There are two topics at hand, and they differ vastly in their areas of relevance and the conclusions we make for them.

1. Homosexuality in itself, and its moral standing.

2. Homosexual marriage, and its legal standing.

We mustn’t get these two confused. These are often bundled up into one topic of discussion, but we must stay prudent that one does not hide itself behind the other. One deals with the question “Is homosexuality ethical?”, the other “Should homosexual marriage be legal?” Arguments for morality are very different from arguments for legality. Oftentimes a pro-gay marriage person will make the argument that “Sexual attraction is not something one has control over.” They are secretly hijacking and swindling the conversation when they use this argument in favor of gay marriage. Such an argument deals with the first category, homosexuality in itself, not homosexual marriage. (Just because you can and maybe even feel like doing something doesn't mean you should.)

There is also a third topic I will address at the end of the post, which I think is a VERY important topic, though this one concerns Christians, not homosexuals.

3. How are Christians to relate to homosexuals and people who know/are friends with homosexuals?

I initially only planned to write about the third topic for this post, however I think I need to briefly dip into the other two topics in order to provide foundation for my arguments. You can't leave questions unanswered and issues untouched if you want to make a compelling argument.

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Homosexuality as sexual immorality

Let’s first take a look at homosexuality in itself and what the Bible has to say about it, which almost every Christian is going to be acutely familiar with.

According to the Bible, homosexuality is an abomination to the Lord (Leviticus 18:22; 20:13). Any Christian who says it’s not is contradicting the Bible and is therefore speaking heresy. Christians know that the reason that ONLY heterosexual intercourse can produce offspring is because this is how it was created to be by God in the beginning. Sex is not just for pleasure, though it is also not just for procreation. It is also to share intimacy with another person (of the opposite sex, by biological design), intimacy that can only truly exist through unbreached faithfulness to one another, ‘til death do part. The family is the core unit of society instituted by God and one of the most important reasons He created the sexes as He did.

But while being immoral, should homosexuality be illegal? No. It is good that some sins, such as murder and rape, will always be legislated as being illegal, so that the dire consequences will stay many people’s hands from committing these heinous sins. However, not all sins will be legislated as such, and part of that is just the free will given to us by our Creator to be used for good or for ill. We should legislate against sins that harm others against their will; we shouldn't legislate against sins that people have consented to doing and that have consequences for no one other than themselves. Homosexuals should also be given the freedom to live together. Again, it is sinful and an abomination, but they have been given the free will to do it if they please, just as Adam and Eve were given the free will to eat the fruit in the garden.

But what about homosexual MARRIAGE? Ah, now we are onto a different issue. Homosexual partnership is not necessarily something we should object to being legal. Homosexual partnerships fall under the category of sexual immorality, just like premarital relations, infidelity, prostitution, pornography, transgenders and bestiality do. These are different types of the same poison, perversions of the sexuality we were designed for. Nevertheless, if people choose to do these things of their own volition, we must allow them to (though we can certainly lovingly plead with them not to!), and they will be held accountable and judged for these sins on the last day.

But homosexual marriage is something we absolutely cannot tolerate and must take a stand against. Why? Because to use the same term, the same union, that is used for heterosexual couples as for homosexual couples causes something very immoral to happen: homosexual marriage is being equated with heterosexual marriage. The two then become recognized as equal. Our children will be taught that other than being able to procreate themselves, heterosexual marriages are no different than homosexual marriages. This is an abomination of the highest degree. It is nothing other than pure blasphemy, taking the holy things of God and injecting them with the things of the world. It is, in a sense, worse than rejecting those things altogether.

If you choose to live a life of sin, I will beg you to repent and save your soul, but in the end I must stay silent (when it comes to the laws of this country) and respect your free will as a citizen of the United States and as another human being. But when you disfigure and maim a union created by the fingertips of God Himself and turn it into heresy, then, then will I not stay silent. Then will I raise hell and be dragged away until my knuckles bleed.

I recently chatted with someone who was partially disowned by some of her friends because she was friends with a homosexual. This brings me to my third and final topic, how we as Christians should relate to homosexuals.

Two-faced mockery and sanctimony

Sadly, I have come across people (Christians, even more sadly) who will make jokes about homosexuality and treat the subject as a very light and trivial matter when in a private setting. However, they will suddenly turn into sanctimonious examples of all that is good and holy when the discussion about and interaction with homosexuality becomes real and serious. With the same mouth, they jest about homosexuality as if it means nothing, and then they condemn it and curse it as if it is the fecal matter of humanity. Hypocritical? Grievously so. Not only that, is either of these two diametrically opposed reactions to homosexuality right in the first place?

On the same token, what about using the word "gay" as a synonym for "stupid," should we let that fly? In the spirit of the Golden Rule, let's ask ourselves: would we want others to use a word that we closely associate with our identity as a derogatory term? Would we feel like hearing about the love of Jesus after hearing the word used in that way?

Is the alternative to accepting homosexuals treating them like scum? I don’t believe so. If we ever wonder whether something is acceptable to God and can be done in a matter that pleases him, try putting the words “for Jesus” after the action and see if it seems theologically fit. Treating people like scum for Jesus? I don’t think we can make a good defense for that one.

Love your heterosexual neighbor as yourself.
Mark 12:31

Whoops, I’m sorry! I accidentally pulled this verse from the 21st century Christian’s translation, not my version of choice. Let me see if I can find it in a version slightly more true to the original text.

Love your neighbor as yourself.
Mark 12:31

Much better. There is not a single modifier in front of the word “neighbor,” so we cannot pick and choose who of our neighbors we are going to love. From this second-most important of all commandments given to us by Jesus, we can draw a lot of conclusions.

Q: Should we treat all other people as human beings?
A: Yes. We wish to be treated as human beings (not scum), so we should treat others this way as well, even if we vehemently disagree with their lifestyles.

My father left my mom and brothers and me seven years ago, moved to a new city and state where no one knew of his past and has gone on living his life as if his choice to divorce my mom was only a minor inconvenience. I couldn't be more adamantly opposed to his sinful and fraudulent "Christian" lifestyle, and yet I still continue to show love to him and to be his friend, both because he is my father and because there is no excuse to not love someone.

Q: Should we respect all human beings?
A: Yes. Can you love someone without respecting them? I don’t mean respecting them as in accepting their sin and justifying it as okay, but rather respecting them as individuals made in the image of God, individuals who, however sinful and fallen they may be, are just like you.

Now this doesn’t say anything about the hierarchy of respect in our lives, because obviously we give varying levels of respect to different people depending on whether they believe the same things as we do. This will be discussed below. However, I think we can safely make the ubiquitous statement that every single human being who walks the planet deserves a level of respect as a person made in the image of the holy God of heaven and earth. They are not scum, because if we treat them like scum, we are treating God’s creation (and indirectly, Him) as scum.

Q: Should we joke about others for the sake of our own amusement?
A: In most situations, no. There is a world of difference between jesting and mocking. There is nothing wrong with poking fun at someone, so long as you’re not hurting their feelings and they’re able to get a good laugh out of it themselves. In my mind I can see the disciples joking around with each other about fishing and tax collecting and their other various backgrounds prior to becoming disciples because after all, they were human, and it's inhuman not to enjoy a good round of laughter. However, mocking someone is wrong. Always. If you believe a person is flawed mentally, morally or spiritually, and still you laugh at their expense, odds are you’re mocking them. This is not something the people of God should be doing under any circumstances. Ever.

A hierarchy of friends and influence

Is it okay to befriend homosexuals?

“No!” is the kneejerk resounding cry of much of modern day Christianity. But upon closer inspection, what would Jesus do? Would He befriend homosexuals? Let me ask a more poignant question: is there anyone Jesus would NOT befriend?

We can learn a lot from Jesus’ life here on earth. Jesus had His closest circle of friends, the 12 disciples, but He certainly never turned anyone away. He ate with tax collectors (Mark 2:15-17), He talked with prostitutes (Luke 7:36-50), He approached people possessed by demons who were naked and probably very unsightly (Luke 8:26-33). Even those with leprosy (Luke 17:11-19), whom the rest of the world had ostracized and rejected, He sought out and healed. He was the ultimate Befriender of sinners, and never did He play the holier-than-thou Christian card (at least in the Pharisaical sense). Are we to then aspire to be enemies of sinners in the name of this very same Man, the Son of God? Or rather, should we be enemies of the sin that is in them?

By the way, if you take nothing else away from this post, I highly recommend you look up Luke 7:36-50. Read it over several times. Isn't the response many modern Christians have to homosexuals cut from the same cloth as the Pharisee's response to the prostitute in verse 39?

A homosexual should not be one of our closest friends as Christians. Our closest friends should be the ones who we want to morally rub off on us (because they will) and therefore should be people who believe the same things we do, at least the most important things. (Major on the majors, minor on the minors as my pastor always says. You don’t have to cut them off from your closest circle of friends because they do/don’t believe in speaking in tongues, that’s a minor.) However, do we not have different tiers of friends in our lives? We have our acquaintances, our buddies, and then our second family. While homosexuals should not be our closest friends, can they be our friends at all?

It is okay for Christians to have non-Christian friends. At my workplace, other than one other guy to my knowledge, I am the only Christian. That does not stop me from being friends with my coworkers. I work on projects with them, I shoot the breeze with them and sometimes I hang with them outside of work. Recently I went with three of the younger guys to take a tour of Coors brewery on a Friday afternoon (and yes, I had a beer there). I will diverge from them and hold up a halting hand if they want to go to a strip joint or something like that, and I will not allow myself to spend inordinate amounts of time with them because they do not have the same beliefs and values that I do. Nevertheless, to an allowable extent, they are my friends.

If we don’t befriend people, how can we reach them with the love of Christ? If we never allow ourselves to interact with them, how can we love them? (see Matthew 5:14-16 and 9:12-13) I’m not saying we should necessarily go out and try to locate homosexuals to be friends with (we probably shouldn’t), but if we happen to find ourselves in a situation with a homosexual, is it okay to befriend them in a way that does not forfeit our morals and standards? Looking to the ultimate role model, Jesus, I think we can assuredly answer with a “yes.”

By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another except for homosexuals.
John 13:35

Darn it, I keep quoting from the oft-used but Biblically deviant 21st century Christian’s translation. Here’s the correct passage.

By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.
John 13:35

Once again, no modifiers on “one another.” We must extend love to everyone. Everyone.

Conclusion: razing the un-Christlike Christian response to homosexuals

“You are the scum of the earth, the kind of stuff I scrape off of the bottom of my shoe, and I will not even bring myself to acknowledge your existence. I will sever bonds with anyone who has any kind of relationship with you. Oh but Jesus loves you! Believe in Him!”

Anything wrong with this picture? Love cannot be shown and felt through hatred. To love people as Jesus did, we must start where He started: treating all other people as human beings with souls of immeasurable worth in the eyes of our Father, not scum. We skew and obscure the loving heart of God in our lives when we are so degrading and hateful toward other people. Hate the sin, not the sinner. However don’t just not hate the sinner, and don’t be indifferent to the sinner, love the sinner. The greatest witness you can show to someone who does not believe in God is to show them undeserving love, from one sinner to another.

On September 14, I saw the awesome hardcore band Blindside in concert. Just about a quarter of the way into the concert, I unavoidably had to face a reality about two members of the small crowd that night: they were lesbians. Not only that, but they were pretty proud of their right to be, you could tell. Now, one way I could have responded to them would have been to treat them with utter disdain, shirking away in disgust as if they had leprosy and holding my pristine, untainted Christian nose high up in the air. I chose to respond to them like I would anyone else in the crowd: I didn't pay them special attention because I was there to see the band, not fluff my Christian ego. If they had initiated a conversation with me, I would've chatted to them in the same manner I would have with anybody else. These are LIVING, BREATHING, DYING SOULS, not bugs to be squashed underneath the cross-shaped treads of our unblemished, white Christian sneakers. Do I disagree with them on the morality of being lesbians? Absolutely. Do I then justify treating them like they're carriers of small pox? Absolutely not.

In one of the most powerful lyrics I have ever come across in a song, Anberlin (who I'll actually be seeing tomorrow night) dares to challenge the hypocritically hateful, rejecting followers of the most loving, accepting Man to ever walk the face of the earth.

You made his faith disappear
More like a magician and less like a man of the cloth
We're not questioning God
Just those He chose to carry on His cross.
-Anberlin, (*Fin)

Jesus loved us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8), and He commanded us to love others as He did (John 13:34). We have to love other sinners. The wayward ones, the seemingly hopeless ones, the morally degenerate ones. We have to love them all. We can't love people from an arm's length or with a ten-foot pole. Let's stop this cliquish nonsense, for we are no different than the Pharisees. Christianity is not a members-only club for the spiritually elite, it is a ministry for the lost and damned. And any attempt at ministry is impotent if we relegate ourselves to the sidelines, neglecting the lost until they have their act together and we deem them acceptable enough, when in reality we should be loving them so that we can show them the remedy for getting their act together.

Sometimes an outside perspective says it all.

I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
-Mahatma Gandhi